Health

What Fat Feels Like

Fat. Fluffy. Overweight. Obese. Chubby. Thick. Plus size. Chunky. Husky. Plump. The list goes on and on. There is a huge movement right now to eliminate fat shaming and acceptance of everyone’s bodies. And for all the men and ladies out there who are comfortable with their size – you go girls! Work it!14d47176edb9e37d79530d692143a701

I’m super impressed by Ashley Graham’s #beautybeyondsize promotion. It’s 100% true that you do not have to be a certain size to be beautiful or healthy. I am more active and “in shape” than some people who are half my size. And there are people who are larger than me who are healthier than I am. The number on the scale and in your pants does not define you. Health is so much more than numbers. Health is a feeling. Feeling of strength. Feeling of happiness. Feeling of being comfortable in your own body. Feeling of being able to ‘drop it like it’s hot’ and pick it back up again.

There are days when I will be super ok with my appearance, you know how you’ll wake up and just feel thin? You’ll look in the mirror and be like, Hot Damn! Not bad. Not bad at all. Yeah there are those days. But when I was at my heaviest weight, those days were very few and far between. Probably like never actually. This was part of my motivation to finally make some serious lifestyle changes. And those lifestyle changes worked! If you want to know what I did to lose almost 60 pounds you can read about it here.

And here’s that before and after bitches love: img_7273

Even though I wasn’t at my ultimate goal weight or size, I was in better shape than I ever have been in my adult life. And I got a little conceited and unempathetic to people struggling to lose weight. (Don’t virtually punch me in the dick here). I did it, so why couldn’t they? It’s really not that hard. If they would just TRY, they could lose weight. Well then I got the swift kick in the face that I deserved. I gained back 15 pounds. But I’m glad I did and here is why. It knocked me off my high fucking horse and reminded me that being fat is hard and no one chooses it-so stop being a judgmental douche. No one likes that guy. Don’t be that guy.

So if you’ve never been fat. Or you have and you need a reminder of what it’s like: this is what being fat felt like to me:

  1. Hungry- When I was following my weight watchers plan and eating healthy, natural foods, I never felt hungry. You know when I feel hungry? When I don’t have a meal plan and just fly by the seat of my pants. I end up eating junk and then I’m hungry again in a few hours, hell even minutes. Not to mention the more you eat the more your stomach stretches leaving you feeling hungry sooner. So the more you eat, the more often you’re going to feel hungry, leading you to eat more. Talk about a vicious circle. This is not scientifically proven, actually maybe it is, I don’t know, I’m not a doctor or a scientist. This is just what it feels like and it makes sense to me. e06c10956baebbc3983cafec570c7b6f6f9a151450bf65dcae9022e9db8b8fab
  2. Uncomfortable- You’re uncomfortable in your clothes because they’re either too tight, or fit here and then are huge in other places. No brand or style fits right. You’re uncomfortable in a bathing suit because, well because you’re in a bathing suit. You’re uncomfortable naked because your skin is touching your skin, they’re called rolls and they’re a constant reminder that you hate yourself and are never going to eat again- as you scavenge your pantry and refrigerator. You’re uncomfortable sitting because your pants are cutting into your stomach, or you’ve pulled your waistband up over your gut so there’s not a double roll. It’s suuuuuper stylish. You’re uncomfortable standing because while you were sitting your shirt rolled up, your pants shifted down-despite having pulled them up over the gut, so now you have to adjust every article of clothing you’re wearing to try to deceive the eye into a body shape you do not possess. You’re uncomfortable laying down because you have heartburn and indigestion from the shit food you’ve eaten, your fat is creating rolls that aren’t how you look in your mind’s eye, and your boobs are suffocating you if you’re laying too flat. I could go on.
  3. Heartburn- I mentioned the heartburn, but it deserves it’s own number. Everything gives you heartburn. Antacids have become your dessert. Well second dessert after you eat first dessert. 4400239
  4. Out of shape- Oh like you can’t run a mile under 15 minutes? No bitch. Like you can’t walk a mile. You can’t comfortably bend over to tie your shoes or pick something up off the floor. You can’t bend your leg and pull it close enough to paint your toes all at once, you either do a couple toes at a time, or if you let your leg fall to the side to make room for your stomach you can make that shit work. Your feet hurt, and your arms fall asleep if they’re bent for too long because your fat is cutting off the blood flow. 
  5. Tired- Despite having done zero physical activity to warrant being tired, being lethargic breeds more lethargy. It’s like that being hungry cycle. motivation-level-lazy-puppy

It’s not easy being fat. All of these things you endure are exhausting and much harder to deal with than diet and exercise. And I needed that reminder so I can stop making choices that lead to being uncomfortable in my own body, it’s the only one I get. So here is to taking the easy route-making an eating plan, scheduling my exercise and activity, kicking ass and taking names. Because life is hard enough without making it harder on myself by being fat.

Oooooh time to make another list!

2 thoughts on “What Fat Feels Like

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